Not everyone wants to have a committed relationship with just one person. Or, maybe you’re just out of a serious relationship and you want something a little more casual and fun.
If you are either of these, a hook up might be the answer for you and your sexual needs.
However, a casual relationship is like no other type of relationship and has some definite rules to follow if you’re going to keep it going for any length of time.
Casual Hook Up Rules For Success
If you’re going to give hooking up a go, follow these 8 rules to keep your hook up’s casual and fun.
- Communication is key and above all other things
If you’ve never been in a casual relationship, it is important that you know that communication is key. Sure, you’re probably not going to be opening up your darkest secrets to someone you’re just sleeping with, but you do need to talk to your partner about what it is you want and maybe even more importantly, what you don’t want.
Hook up-types of relationships are all about sex. As long as everyone involved understands that things will go well. When one party doesn’t understand that you’re just having sex and there is not a committed relationship happening, they are bound to get hurt.
The best way to ensure that your hook up stays casual and fun is to talk about your expectations from the start and make sure that if you or your partner starts getting feelings, you reevaluate where things are going to go.
And, you must both be mature enough to communicate if what you’ve got going isn’t working. Just as you don’t want love sneaking in, you also don’t want to leave things on a sour note by ghosting the other person.
- Leave the past behind, where it needs to be
When you enter into any new relationship, you need to leave your past relationships behind. Nobody wants to get involved with someone, even if it is just to have sex if they have a boatload of baggage.
Hook ups are also a great way to leave the past behind you and experience new things without all those messy strings that tend to bind us to a boring life. One of the best things about having hookups is the fact that they are non-judgmental, have zero pressure, are exciting, and they can give you back the mojo your past relationships might have stripped away.
- Don’t catch emotions for anyone
Emotions make thing messy. And, unfortunately, when sex is involved, emotions are often quick to follow. However, if you want your hook up to stay casual and fun, you need to make sure that you’re ready to keep emotions away and you’re honest with your partner that you only want to have sex and nothing more.
If you or your casual hook up partner start to feel something for the other one and that isn’t part of the deal, you need to be open and honest with what is going on and either be ready to walk away, or accept that your partner is going to want to walk away.
- You much accept when it’s time to go and go
Breaking up is hard to do and nobody likes to do it, even if it is a casual hook up relationship. However, unless your sexual relationship deepens and becomes a full-fledged committed relationship, you’re probably going to have to break up with your sex buddy at some point.
If you and your hook up partner decide that it is time for things to end for whatever reason, you have to be ready to go. And remember, this can happen at any time and because you wanted a no-strings-attached relationship, this is something that isn’t an “if,” but a “when.”
- Have respect
Just because you aren’t in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you get free access to be a jerk to your sex friend. Nobody wants to be treated as a lesser-person and if you can’t handle being nice, polite, and respectful, you’re not ready to have a casual relationship. Remember, they’re a person and not a paid sex worker.
Don’t get confused, though. When I say be respectful, I don’t mean you have to be a shoulder to cry on or someone who listens to your partners deepest dreams. No, if you start doing that, you’re going to muddy the waters and make things very confusing.
Instead, be nice, be respectful, and treat your friend like you would want to be treated.
- Don’t spend too much time together
If you are in a casual hook up relationship, you probably aren’t going to want to spend a lot of time together. That may sound crazy but think about it! If you are spending gobs of time together, are things really casual?
Or, *dun, dun, dun* does it then become a real relationship?
Look, hook ups are exciting, and your hormones are probably running in overdrive. But, if you start spending days and nights together, or if your hour of fun starts becoming sleepovers and making breakfast together, things are slipping away from hook up and towards being boyfriend and girlfriend.
There’s nothing wrong with that, mind you, as long as that is both what you want. Again, just make sure that you both want that and decide how you’re going to keep things going.
- Don’t talk about other conquests
If you’re involved with someone as a casual hook up, you’re not going to want to be running your mouth about other people you’re seeing. NSA relationships generally allow for dating and sleeping with other people, but I can almost guarantee that your partner doesn’t want to hear about what you’re doing with other people, trust me, especially a threeway.
You also want to avoid talking about your past relationships and other dates, no matter when they happened. Look, if you want to talk about how things have gone for you, get a shrink. Otherwise, keep your talking to sexy things and focus on the pretty little thing that wants to touch your private parts without putting a ring on it.
- Don’t get jealous
Jealousy is an ugly emotion and if you’re noticing some jealousy in your hook up relationship, things are getting out of hand. If you’re feeling jealous, it is probably because you want something more from your partner and if they don’t want the same thing, you’re getting frustrated.
Nobody in a casual hook up relationship owes you, love, that wasn’t why you started out in the first place. However, if you feel like you want more, take a deep breath, discuss what you’re feeling with your partner, and if they don’t feel the same way, be prepared to break things off.
Final Thoughts on Keeping Things Casual and Fun
Casual dating is about having fun and keeping things exciting and it isn’t about being tied down to one person for the rest of your life. If you want things to stay light and fun, you need to be honest with that person, be respectful, and keep things low key without emotions. If you feel that you might not be ready to do that, then you need to take some time for yourself to evaluate what exactly it is that you want.
However, if you feel that you’re ready for a casual hook up, follow my 8 tips to keep the relationship casual and fun and you’re sure to have a blast. Now, get out there and find yourself a hook up or two!