Having a friend with “benefits” is a great thing. In fact, it’s one of the best things in the world. It gives you a release of all of your built-up sexual energy with a person you know on the regular. You don’t have to worry about heading out into the world to find someone new every single night.
You get someone you can rely on for sex, within reason. Sex is good and a very healthy thing for every person on the planet to have. How do I know? Well, I run Hookupwebsites.com don’t I?
Now, that doesn’t mean it’s not always without its problems, though. You can easily find yourself in a situation that you just never saw coming. Hooking up with a person and having them turn into your friend with benefits is one special thing.
What about when the person starts out as your friend? Can you add the benefits and keep everything just as nice as it was before the sex? Can you make it even better with the sex? There are pitfalls and there are things just waiting to ruin it all for you.
The best thing you can do is keep yourself aware of them and make your relationship whatever it is that you want it to be. In fact, here are some friends with benefits tips that you’ll want to hold near and dear…
Sex With Friends: Tips For Average Joe
One thing that you really need to keep in mind is that there’s going to be jealousy. It’s going to be coming from a few different places. The first place is from your mutual friends. The person that you’ve now decided to hook up with likely come from your social circle.
That means that the two of you share plenty of friends. They’re going to be jealous as soon as they find out that the two of you are hooking up. The women will be jealous of her and the men will be jealous of you. That’s just the way that it’s going to be. It happens because everyone sees themselves as the most important part of the group that they’re in.
That means that if the women think you’re going to be hooking up with anyone, it’s going to be them. It’s the same for women. What is it that you have that they don’t have? You’re going to get looks and plenty of talking behind your back. The best thing that you can do to stop it is to keep your relationship between the two of you and no one else.
You’ll Have Your Own Jealousy To Deal With
Don’t think that you’re immune to this kind of jealousy. You’re going to be feeling it just as much as your friends would. That’s because there are emotions involved. The best kind of casual sex is totally free of them. They’re the enemy. You’re already friends, though.
Your emotions are tied up with each other in some way or another. You’ll have to deal with your own green-eyed monster at some point and so will he. The whole reason for a casual sexual relationship is that it’s casual.
That’s why it’s in the name. You’re not tied down to each other. You both have every right to go out and hook up with any other person that you want.
It’s what makes these relationships so much fun. It’s just not going to work that way for the two of you. If you can feel jealous when you catch your friend hanging out with another of their friends without inviting you, then you can certainly feel it when your friend with benefits hooks up with someone else. It’s just the way that it’s going to be for both of you.
How To Make It Work
None of this is to say that it’s impossible to have sex with a friend. You just have to be careful about how you go about it. It’s actually an incredibly fulfilling experience if you keep it all simple and just make each other feel good. Heck, add in in some BDSM action if that’s what you’re both into.
It shouldn’t be that difficult, either. You’re already close in one way or another. You can use that to help you along. The last thing that either of you wants is to hurt the other person. Use your strengths to your advantage and you’ll be able to have a great time.
Use Your Familiarity For Better Sex
Never forget that you know each other. You share a history and now you share a secret. You’ve probably even spoken at length about sex. Use that as a way to have an amazing time together. The problem with random hookups is that there’s only so much you can do with the other person.
You just have no idea what they’re into. That’s not the case here. You can both experiment with each other and play with your fantasies. It’s an opportunity that not many people will ever get.
Agree To Keep Emotions And Sex Separate
You’re going to have to have two different relationships. One is as friends and the other is as a hookup. You never want the two to intermingle. Never talk about emotions or your problems when you get together for sex. That’s what friends do.
Conversely, never act like you’re having sex when you get together as friends. There should never be any hand-holding or kissing when you’re hanging out. There should never be any crying on each other’s shoulders when you’re having sex. Keep the two relationships separate and you’ll be much happier for it.
Remember To Have Fun
You also need to remember to never let the rules bog you down. You’re doing this to have fun and that’s it. That should be your main goal whenever you get together. It doesn’t matter how you’re getting together.
Both relationships should be fulfilling and a good time. Make that your goal every single time you get together. You’ll quickly see that it’s very possible to have sex with your friends and not ruin what you already have with them. Let it happen and be ready to stop when it stops being fun. Oh, and when that happens, just make sure you’re sticking with dating and not hiring girls for hookups.
Related Article:
Keeping It Casual: Sex With Friends (My Advice)
About Owen Cashner
Owen Cashner considers himself a professional dater and amateur comedian. His passion for writing led him to document his experiences using online dating websites. All opinions expressed on this website are to further educate men on the landscape of dating. Use this information to your advantage and conquer the dating world.
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