How do you define hooking up? Do you think of it as meeting someone and getting together for some chit-chat? Or, does it mean a little Netflix and chill?
According to a recent study done by the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and the University of Montana, 94% of people were aware of the term “hooking up”, but they didn’t know exactly what it meant. The study found that the term meant a few different things to the study group, including a friendly, platonic hangout session, a hot and heavy make out date, or full-on sex.
While it may be hard to define what exactly constitutes a hook up, everyone can agree that hook ups occur between two or more people who are not attached, dating, or otherwise in a committed relationship.
Why is Hooking Up Such an Ambiguous Term? What Is It?
Stating that you were hooking up with someone is pretty vague and honestly, that’s a good thing.
Think about it, if you’re into having casual sex but maybe you have friends that are ‘Judgey McJudgingtons’, you might not want to say that you’ve been out banging the masses. But, if their nosy behinds ask you what you and Becky have been up to, you might be more inclined to say you hooked up. Because it is such a vague term, you can give them a tidbit without giving up the entire story.
Pros of Hooking Up
Nobody should feel guilty about having sex. Let’s face it, sex is fun, sex is healthy, and as long as everyone is consenting to what is going on, it’s totally fine to be out there getting your groove on.
A hook up is amazing because not only can you satisfy your urges, you can even experiment a little.
For the longest time, sex was looked at as something that shouldn’t be discussed. Then, sex kind of lost that taboo quality and became mainstream. However, even though sex is accepted most of the time, if you’re into something a little different (I’m looking at you, all you BDSM-lovers), you’re pretty much looked at as a freak.
Not everyone is into missionary, vanilla sex, not that there’s anything wrong with “regular” sex, but sometimes we like to get our freak on. If you’re someone that likes to experiment with sex and try new things, hooking up might just be the way for you.
Cons of Hooking Up
While hooking up can allow you to explore your sexual fantasies in a non-committed way, it can have its downfalls.
First, you’re not in a relationship. Why would that be a problem, you ask? Well, no matter what we may say, once you introduce sex into any relationship, it makes things a touch…complicated. It doesn’t matter how hard we try, more often than not feelings sneak in.
Think about it, you’re hooking up with an amazing woman and because it’s NSA, you are both free to see other people. So, let’s say you see her out with some other guy and they’re having a great time and you start to wonder why you aren’t having a great time together.
Or, maybe you start to wonder what she’s doing when you’re not together and you want to start texting or talking on the phone, but she’s not into it. To her, you’re just a hook up and hook ups don’t get involved beyond bedroom antics.
Are you ready for that?
And, I wouldn’t be doing this article justice if I didn’t mention how dangerous a hook up can be. Now, I know you may have a fuckbuddy that you go to regularly and that isn’t going to put you at risk for anything major beyond hurt feelings.
But, what if you meet your hook ups in a bar, at a club, or online? There are so many crazy people out there, you need to really be careful about who you’re meeting up with. Look, I don’t want to be a ‘Debbie Downer’, but if you’re going to be out there looking at random people to have sex with, use some common sense and be safe.
No amount of sex is worth losing your life over.
Does a Hook Up Ever Lead to a Relationship?
Truthfully, anything is possible in the world of sex and I feel that rules are made to be broken. However, it is very important to remember that if you are into having a hook up and you find a partner that is looking for the same thing, the chances that they will want to have a relationship is slim.
People hook up because they want to fulfill their needs and avoid a complicated relationship. If they trust you enough to get naked with you, they are pretty much assuming you want the same thing. If one of you decides you want to take things further, there is a huge chance it is going to implode a good thing.
It doesn’t mean that a hook up couldn’t lead to having a serious and committed relationship at some point, but for the most part if you’re looking to have a hook up, you’re probably not looking to make things serious.
Hook Up Advice
If you are looking at joining the booming hook up culture, there are some things you want to remember.
If you find someone that you’re interested in sexually, be honest with them. Do not lead anyone on just to get into their pants. It isn’t fair and you wouldn’t like it if someone did that to you.
Also, be prepared to walk away if things change. Since hook ups are non-committed relationships, it is possible for one or both of you to date other people. If the relationship gets in the way of something more serious with someone else, you both need to be honest and mature enough to walk away to allow love to happen if that’s what your partner wants.
Finally, have fun! Sex shouldn’t be drudgery and you are looking to have hook ups for a reason, so relax, be honest, be mature, and just enjoy what you have as long as you have it going.